we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
