nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
