from now on my penis is your penis
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
