I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My feet surprised me
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