drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
