Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
