They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
