3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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