I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i now understand why vodka
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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