I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
