when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
