after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
