She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
