I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
