Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
