i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
