Don't you send me to vm
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
