Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
