I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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