There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
