when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
