Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
