This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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