she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
