"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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