marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
