i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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