I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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