You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
