Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
