i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
