Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
