Just cropdusted the office
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
