guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
