yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
