Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
