the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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