I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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