Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
