And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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