honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
