that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
