She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
