My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
