He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
