Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
