they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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