Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
