My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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