Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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